You tell yourself it’s fine. Sure, you slept in, scrolled too much today, or let another evening slip away in front of a screen. But at least you’re doing better than most. At least you’re not completely lost. At least you’re not like them.
That one thought has killed more potential than any bad habit ever could. It gives you permission to stay comfortable, to avoid pushing harder, to settle for good enough. But comparing yourself to the average person is the fastest way to stay average. Most people are drifting through life, numbing themselves with distractions, living without direction. Is “better than that” really the standard you want for yourself?
This isn’t about guilt or shame—it’s about waking up. If you’ve ever felt like you were meant for more but can’t seem to break free from distraction, this is for you. In this article, we’re going to dismantle the “at least I’m doing better than most” lie, expose the hidden cost of playing it safe, and show you how to set a higher standard for your life—starting today.
Sometimes in life we have weak moments and make poor decisions. Too much coffee, too long scrolling, too little movement. It’s normal and acceptable, a part of the human experience. If we accept these moments as they are, a single moment of weakness along the path of a beautiful life purpose, then there is little harm in the occasional poor decision.
However, what tends to happen is we want to justify ourselves and our actions. How many times have you looked at your life, compared it to the life of the average person and said to yourself, “It’s ok that I did this thing (poor decision), at least I’m doing better than 90% of everyone else.”
Addiction is a great example of this. How many people have said, “It’s ok that I scroll too much, at least I don’t eat too much sugar.” Meanwhile the person eating too much sugar says, “I’m doing better than everyone that drinks too much.” And that person compares himself to the tobacco smokers and justifies his behavior too. The tobacco smoker says to himself, “Well, at least I’m not smoking crack.”
This charade of comparing ourselves to others in an attempt to justify our behaviors is decidedly useless. It serves no purpose on the path to wellness, true fulfillment, and living the best life you can live.
Every person is here for a different reason. Whether you were sent here for a unique life mission, or you decided it all for yourself, we each have a different purpose for our life. This is the beauty of being human: the power of choice. We arrive here on the planet and from the moment we are birthed into the world we begin the lifelong process of making decisions. Will I cry, or be silent? Smile or frown? Shall I eat, or play? Go left, or right?
Our life purpose can be exactly what we consciously decide it is. You might receive nudges (or shoves) from spirit in a different direction occasionally, but for the most part you can live however you would like to. This is exactly why comparing yourself to others never offers anything useful.
If a rushing river compared itself to a puddle, what useful information would it gain? Would it say, “Ah, it’s okay that I don’t flow forward, the puddle doesn’t either”? What hope would that leave for reaching the ocean?
Stop Measuring the Wrong Thing
What is your life purpose, your reason for being? What are you doing with your life? Have you thought about it? Hopefully you have put some time and effort into deciding what exactly you would like to do with your human lifetime.
If you haven’t, it doesn’t mean that you don’t have a purpose. You still do, you’re just sitting in the passenger seat. Looking at your life from a greater height, it would be clear that you are still moving in a certain direction. Someone could point at you and say, “Ah look there he is, going that way.” There would be a history of where you had been, which when combined with your current direction would allow us to determine where you seem to be going.
Look at any man who has let life decide for him. Ten years later, he’s still tired, still distracted, still just getting by. Is that where you’re headed?
The time to decide what you are doing with your life is always now. Right now. In each moment. Letting that decision be made unconsciously is perhaps the greatest waste of human potential that could occur. Here’s your sign: it’s time to decide what you are doing here.
My life purpose for example is multi-fold: I am here to be the best man, husband, father I can be. I am here to create things that inspire beauty and growth. I am here to care for the earth and grow trees and plants. I am here to help others awaken.
Is it becoming more clear why comparing ourselves to others is pointless?
Someone might say, “But Michael, every man wants to be the best man, husband and father they can be. That’s not unique to you.” My response to that would be, “Maybe.”
A life purpose and reason for being is quite a bit more than just a stated goal—that’s not enough. Your life must completely align with that goal for it to become a life purpose. If you tell yourself that you would like to be the best man you can be, while drinking excessively, watching porn, and scrolling social media, then something else is going on. Your life purpose is actually to just be comfortable and get by.
If you tell yourself that you want to be the best father you can be, while travelling excessively for work and putting a screen in front of your child so they be quiet, then is that truly your life purpose? How can you be the best father you can be when you are not physically present?
Your life purpose, your reason for existing on this planet, is more than a simple string of words or thoughts. It is the alignment of a deep yearning of the heart and the will to see it through. It can shift and evolve as you yourself do.
Set Your Own Standard
The truth is that most people do not have the same life purpose as you. Most people do not want to be the best parent, partner or version of themselves that they can be. The proof is in the pudding.
What are most people doing with their lives? Watching Netflix, eating fast food, drinking, watching porn, doom scrolling social media, consuming endlessly and creating nothing. That is most people. Their life purpose is quite clear: be comfortable and get by. Maybe they want that promotion at work, or to find a beautiful woman to copulate with, but that’s it.
If I look at my own life now and justify my poor decisions and behaviors by comparing myself to the average person, how does this help me? My life purpose is completely different from them. I am here for a different reason than they are, so why would I look to anyone else when determining the validity of my own behaviors?
A compass has a single north, otherwise it wouldn’t be very useful. In your life as well, you need a single north—a single guide as you live your life purpose. That single north is you, and everything you want for yourself.
What do you want for your life? Do you crave deep fulfillment and bliss? Do you yearn for a woman with whom you can build a life together, a legacy of love that can be felt and experienced through the things and children you will create? Do you seek a deeper connection with the universal creative energy—with source, God, spirit? Do you want to wake up every single day with gratitude in your heart for another day to walk this beautiful creation?
This is not the experience of the average person on this planet. To attain all this takes a deep commitment and unshakeable will—a hunger and thirst for more. It’s not enough to want it or just show up. You won’t receive this as a participation trophy.
Most people don’t truly want this. They might say they do if you were to ask them, but if you step back and observe their actions and how they live their lives or spend their time it would be quite clear they aren’t interested in it. Why then would we compare ourselves to them? Would you compare red to blue? An orange to an apple?
Would an eagle compare itself to a hummingbird? Of course not, they are fundamentally different. Both have wings, both fly, but only one soars to heights of over 20,000 feet. Hummingbirds eat nectar from flowers and fly ~50 feet above the ground.
The Lies We Tell Ourselves
Why do we compare ourselves to others who seem to have a life purpose and mission which is fundamentally different than ours? It’s actually pretty simple: we like to be comfortable. It is uncomfortable to accept that we are living without purpose, passion, or bliss. It is uncomfortable to accept that maybe we don’t really want those things we say we want.
If you want to sleep better at night and wake up energized, but stay up late looking at screens—do you actually want to sleep better? The evidence shows otherwise.
If you want to reduce the inflammation and pain in your body, but drink and eat sugar and other foods that cause inflammation—do you truly want reduced pain? I think not.
If you want a deeper connection with your wife and children, but spend hours in the day watching screens for entertainment—do you truly want that deeper connection?
Humans are masters at the art of deception, especially at deceiving ourselves. Everyone has an experience like one of these above, and if you can’t think of one similar then you aren’t thinking hard enough.
We very often know exactly what we are doing while we are doing it—or not doing it. The problem is most of us have a shaky relationship with truth. Truth can be painful, especially when it reveals that the source of our pain or discomfort is ourselves.
Acknowledging that we don’t actually care about our body is painful. It is the obvious truth though when we fill it with sugar and chemicals and stay up late looking at screens. We can jump through whatever hoops we want to in our mind to not accept this, but nothing will change the reality: we will not be healthy. We will be in pain. We will wake up groggy and with mental fog. We will get sick. And most of all, we chose this for ourselves.
Accepting that we don’t actually want a deep relationship with our wife or children is painful. It is the truth though when we trade time with them for time with something else. We can perform all the mental gymnastics we want to avoid accepting this uncomfortable feeling, but none of them will change what is actually happening: the relationships with our wife or children are not deepening, and this is as a result the of choices we are making.
Knowledge of the truth consists of living it. Therefore, the only way to know truth is to live it.
When we live in apathy—droning about through our day from system to system, screen to screen, pill to cream, illusion to illusion—we know that truth. When we live with purpose and passion, then we know that truth as well.
Which truth would you like to know? The truth of a man who wants to be the best man he can possibly be? The truth of a father who is the best, most loving, patient and present father he can be? The truth of a husband who is the best, most empowering lover he can be? The truth of creator who aligns with the universal creative energy to consciously create his reality? The truth of a leader who can lead his family, his community and his team in a way that lifts everyone up together and betters the world?
If you want to have any idea of what those truths are, you must begin living them. There is no way to obtain any inkling of an idea of what it means to be that, until you start living it.
You don’t need luck. You need action. Right now, today, choose the life you actually want. The average man won’t—but you’re not here to be average.
